Ladies and gents, we’re here to learn something new to squeeze two bits out of the next fool passing: this is a very exciting game, and i won’t lie to you telling that it wasn’t taught to me recently from a recent acquaintance.
It is a game for four players.
It is played with a 52-card french deck, as it comes straight from the court of miracles in Paris.
The game lasts eight deals, the first six are “called” the seventh gives a bonus, and the eighth a penalty.
Clear?
The “catches” are ace, then king, queen, jack, and then cards counting down.
The dealer gets his cards cut by the player on his left then deals counterclockwise 13 cards for every player.
At this moment, the player states how many catches he believes he can make.
The one at the dealer’s right plays first, and the others must respond with a card of the same suit. Only if they don’t have any they are allowed to play a different suit, to go over or to win the hand.
The one who made the catch then plays first, until the thirteen cards are all gone.
Declaring catches.
In each of the eight hands, the player, counterclockwise starting at the right of the dealer, declare how many hands they think they can win based on the cards they have. If a player thinks he can’t win anything, he can call misère, which is zero catches.
The last, which is the dealer, can’t call a number which, summed to the other player’s calls, makes 13, to avoid concordations and to make it so that at least one player is wrong.
The aim of the game is to get the number of catches declared.
DEALS
First: Hearts – the strong suit is hearts. The strong suit (Briscola) wins over every card of other suits and can be played at any time (it can respond to any other suit), but if the first player plays a strong suit card, one has to follow with another card of that suit.
Second: Diamonds – like before, but diamonds are the strong suit
Third: Clubs – Same
Fourth: Spades -Same
fifth : No strong suit – there is no strong suit in the fifth deal.
Sixth: Dark – you have to declare your catches in the dark, that is without seeing your cards. There is no strong suit.
Seventh: Ciapa ciapa (Gimme Gimme) – in the seventh deal there is no declaring of catches: one must catch all he can. There is no strong suit.
Eighth: Misere.- no catches are declared either, but the aim is now to get the LESS cards possible. No strong suit.
Points
if the number of catches declared is correct, the player gets 10 points a catch. If it is not, he loses 10 points for every catch either missing or exceeding. If a player declared misere, and does not make a single catch, he scores 50 points.
In the last two deals, you win 10 points for each catch during the Ciapa Ciapa round, and lose 10 for every catch made during misere.
The winner is he who after eight deals has made the most points.
Cocuzzaro (the pumpkin man)
“The pumpkin man goes to his garden and picks three pumpkins”
ever heard that? And has someone asked you “how many pumpkins?”
if they haven’t, you haven’t played pumpkin man.
Now, to be clear, in no way the game involve pumpkins. But we don’t care about that.
We care about the game, which is the silliest thing you can play: well, if you play while you are drunk as a pumpkin (come una cucuzza) you’ll look very silly. But you will also have a lot of fun.
The game is easy. Going round the table, each player are numbered. Then number zero (the pumpkin man, or Cucuzzaro in italian) calls out:
-the pumpkin man goes to his garden and picks…” pause for effect…
“Three pumpkins!”
At this point, number three, which has been called out, will answer out loud and clear, in these precise words:
3 -“Why three pumpkins?”
P.Man “Well, how many then?”
3 – “Eight pumpkins!”
At this point, if number eight was paying attention, he’ll call out:
8- “why eight pumpkins?”
3- “well, how many then?”
8- “Twelve pumpkins!”
And so on. If number eight wasn’t paying attention, though, and does not answer or gives the wrong answer, he will have to take a drink of whatever is served to the players.
It is fundamental that the game is played in the presence of massive quantities of alcohol, since the more one drinks the more one can’t pay attention to one’s number.
The same penance, having to drink, awaits whoever answers to a call which was not for him:
P.Man “the pumpkin man goes to his garden and picks thirteen pumpkins!”
Eight: “Why thirteen pumpkins?”
At this point people laugh and he drinks. It may seem easy to remember one’s number, but there is a catch… one is allowed to call back the pumpkin man.
P.man ” the pumpkin man goes to his garden and picks three pumpkins!”
3 – “Why three pumpkins?”
P.Man “Well, how many then?”
3- “ALL the pumpkin patch!”
P.Man “Why all the pumpkin patch?”
3 – “Well, how many then?”
FORMER Pumpkin man -” Eight pumpkins!”
Pay attention now: i called him former pumpkin man, because from this moment on, the pumpkin man is the one formerly called number three, who called him out: all the players now are numbered around the table clockwise starting from him, the former pumpkin man has his new number, and so does everyone else. In this example, the one who used to be four is now one, and so on. can you see how it isn’t that easy?
The pumpkin man can drink too, if he doesn’t answer or call out a number that does not exist.
There’s a trick for the pros.. The “all the pumpkin patch” trick can go on for quite some time, between the same two players.
Number 3: “All the pumpkin patch”
P.man: “Why all the pumpkin patch?”
3 – “Well, how many then?”
Former P.Man: “All the pumpkin patch”
3 (new p.man) “”Why all the pumpkin patch?”
Former p.man– “Well, how many then?”
…and so on. Obviously, when one of them will answer with a number, probably the other and the number called will get it wrong, one because he will reflectively answer “why all the pumpkin patch?” and the other because he’ll have lost his own number, befuddled by the exchange.
Gord Loves this game.
So does Darko.
Darko is number three. By definition. After a mavelous session with all the crew, and darko grilling meat on an open fire.
Darko was convinced he was number three. No matter what number was called, no matter what number he was. He shouted “why three bloody pumpkins eeh” and drank. And roasted meat over the fires of hell. And drank again. And we pissed ourselves laughing.
It is a fun game.
Watching Darko play is also fun. Maybe more fun than playing.
If you have a darko, you have to play. And to give him number three.